When fighting chronic illnesses, you tend to not see a light at the end of a tunnel. Keep Hope!! Don’t stop making goals. Even though we maybe a shell of who we were, we still have greatness. Our greatest is pushing through pain and maintaining in life while smiling through tears. We are mighty, we are special, we have gifts, we are Seen! Sometimes we need to hear this about ourselves and I know today I did. Chin up tomorrow is new and waiting for you
It’s been awhile my friends. So many good things are in process right now. Can’t wait to make an official announcement. In the meantime, of course I must do something chronic like. I was walking down my stairs at home and boom, missed about 4 steps. To the ER I go to wait for hours and hours among the “interesting “people. Diagnosis-broken toe. You never know how important a toe is until it’s not working right. Now, it’s on to the next phase of never never land treatments. I hope you all find humor in your own stories, no matter how difficult life becomes. A laugh eases the pain just a bit.
Have you ever had in mind a task you knew would take a lot out of you, but you were determined to do it. Well I decided to tackle smoking a 14lb turkey. I’m not quite sure if I thought this part out…it’s hard for me to lift 10 pounds much less 14. Skipping to the best parts, I had to smoke for 3 hours, let my husband take it out and finish it in the oven. I actually got exhausted from keeping the chips in smoker going. This turkey wore me completely out. When I woke up the next day, everything and I mean everything hurt. Emotionally, I felt very fulfilled. I pushed through even though it was physically taxing and I knew repercussions were coming. Sometimes it’s not what you do, but if you finish.
Have you ever had one of those days when everything wrong turns into overwhelming anxiety? Yes, we all have.. that’s when you learn the importance of taking deep breaths. I couldn’t believe the spiral downward I was taking. That’s when I just had to stop everything. Life as I knew was taking over. As I sat there to gather all the shrapnel from my day, I found the super glue to put it all back together. Now that same glue doesn’t work every time, but fortunately I have more tricks up my sleeve. Putting things into real perspective takes out the unnecessary anxiety that looks to weigh us down. If you don’t pause to take in the roses so to speak, you will miss all the other beautiful scenery. This beautiful scenery I learned today is what calms down that overwhelming sense of drowning. So please stop and smell all the flowers.
Have you ever had one of those weeks when the white flag was in your hand? This was me, so me. I was on full surrender. I decided to get my booster vaccine a week ago. I did great the first day, the next morning when I woke up I felt like two trains hit me. Body aches, fever, bones aching. This was way too much!! Unfortunately I had to ride this out all week. In some ways I’m still recovering. Now this is not to discourage any one from getting the vaccine. Whatever you choose to do is your personal decision. Those of my spoonie friends, when you get your boosters, prepare for a full on flare. An angry flare… These are some if the unexpected twist and turns of chronic illness. Not excuse me as I continue to piece myself together.
When you fight with a chronic illness on a daily basis you find it hard to set goals. You wonder, will I feel well enough to achieve it? Will I suffer a flare if I push myself? How will I feel after? The questions never end. I have committed to spending 30 hours of work for a special campaign in my community. Fear and doubt crept in long ago. I fight it each day as I’m more and more tired. One is sure ,I WON’T QUIT. Stay tuned to see if my diving for goal treasure hits the mark.
Hey there, I’m not sure how ya’ll are or have been doing. It’s been rough over here for me..just one brick hit after another. I’m actually tired of being tired, imagine that. Fighting off the dark dragons of depression because my least favorite seasons have arrived. When you deal with chronic pain, your body goes through season changes. Mine is totally rebelling and protesting any change. I don’t think we will start being friends again in the spring. Until then…I just don’t know. I’m setting new goals to achieve to keep my mind busy while these changes keep forming. We’ll see if this helps get me through winter. Stay bundled up ya’ll.
Fall is a favorite time of year for many of my family and friends. While we are surrounded by beautiful pictures of nature,the pain goes us for your chronic illness friends. If there was ever a time to keep us in mind it’s now. The flares increase, and depression goes up. In reality no one likes to be in constant non stop pain. I look forward to spring and summer for selfish reasons. Sitting on the beach in 30 degree weather isn’t ideal. One bright thing about it, I can catch up on all my reading.
There are certain times during chronic illness when you feel absolutely super,which is equivalent to everyone else’s normal. At other times you are literally dragging the floor. These ups and downs can really mess with your mental and emotional health. What do you do to pull yourself up? At times I’m great cheering myself up..other times I just stay down for a while because I’m too tired and in too much pain to care. Reading one if my favorite books, or watch good movie puts a little pep in my step. My favorite pick me up is really good conversations with great supportive friends. Try it sometimes,it can only go up from here.
Today is one of those days I totally feel like giving up. Today is a day that all I will do is make it to the bathroom, possibly with help. Today is a day I’m working on being positive but my pain makes me question everything. Today is a day I wonder what did I do to deserve my life being this way. Today is also a day that I know better days are coming.
Butterfly Chronicles 