As this journey continues I feel like I’m on the yellow brick road to the wizard of rhuemotology. As I sit in the waiting area on the day of my appointment, thoughts start to flood my mind. Should I leave now…. Is this another dead end? Wait that’s my name being called. My Rheumatologist is disabled from an accident that occurred during a surgical procedure. This affected her speech and mobility. Her nurse is present at all times during the visit to make sure you understand all communication. This nurse…a chronic illness survivor. This visit was very emotional.  The tears shed were enough to fill a lake. I’d found my new home.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, otherwise known as my job, I was struggling to handle supervising 6 employees, 4 high school interns, and making sure a large firm of over 1000 people had everything from coffee stirrers to pencils. The fatigue was overwhelming . My boss started out being understanding but that didn’t  last very long. Chronic illness doesn’t heal. Jobs want a dependable person not one with a non cooperative disease.  That needs to change. People like me want to work to the best of our ability. After 5 1/2 years I was let go for unsatisfactory work. Translated, you’re sick and we can’t use you anymore. This has been almost a year ago and I haven’t worked since. I struggled to find my working purpose as I’ve never been idle this long. Now I understand what that is. To help others and myself survive this thing called chronic illness.

Think about where you’re going and never

mind where you’ve been..  Abraham Hicks

Why am I feeling this way..What is this pain? Where did my thought go? Have you felt this way? Does someone you know or love feel this way often? This is where it all began for me 5 years ago, a pinnacle in my life. As the symptoms progressively worsened I bombarded my primary care physician with questions that all but went unanswered. I felt like I was having an outer mind experience. Suffering in silence from some family and friends, I moved on in darkness ,confusion and growing physical pain.

Sometime passed, I was now on vacation with a childhood friend and her family. As we were walking the beach she listened intently to all my symptoms. Surprisingly she had been going through some very similar. The difference- she had just been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. I was mind blown. She quickly suggested I see her rhumatologist  on my return. My thought, they are all created equal…I made an appointment with a local doctor and pressed forward. As all these things were taking place I had just started the job most would call the stepping ladder to success. A fortune 500 global company with more work and respect than I knew what to do with.

The day arrived for the rhuemotology  appointment. Anxious and nervous I followed through. This doctor had no interest in me, my symptoms, or a solution but eventually diagnosed me with a chronic illness. Our relationship was fruitless, it was time to call my friends doctor. There had to be another way, where was this going?

I’ve learned through this journey you have to knock down big buildings to get simple answers about chronic illness. That needs to change? If you are on this journey what are you experiencing? I can’t wait to continue the next time we meet up.

It’s ok not to be ok as long as you’re not

giving up.   Karen Salmansohn

The journey begins 1/31/19. Don’t miss out!

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton